I was recently catching up with an old friend of mine, sharing stories of what we've done since our last visit. During the several years of our separation, I was a flight attendant for what is now the world's largest airline. Somehow my friend and I got to talking about the way people act on airplanes. Any flight attendant will tell you that people do some strange things while flying. My best way to describe the difference is by telling how diapers get changed on airplanes. Now, let me start off by saying that commercial planes all have changing tables in at least one of their lavatories on board. But people don't always ask about those. I have watched mothers change their babies poopy diapers in the middle seat between two complete strangers, in a seat where others will clearly have to sit also, during a food service (on our airline, we still served free food on most every flight). Then, the mothers would attempt to hand me their child's dirty diaper. Flight attendants don't generally wear gloves while serving food, but people ask us to take dirty diapers and put them somewhere on the food or beverage cart. I ask you, if you were in a restaurant, would you change your baby's diaper at the table and hand it to your server? The answer is clearly no. So, why would you do that on an airplane? 

Another odd object that I have been handed is a bloody napkin. A little boy had cut himself on the plastic food tray that we had given him for breakfast. That sucks, but it's not my fault. Another flight attendant had given the boy a band aid, unbeknownst to me. As I was picking up trash with my bare hands the father of the young boy handed me the food tray/weapon with a bloody napkin inside it. I didn't realize this until I was throwing the tray away. I was taken by surprise. I didn't know who's blood that was or what kind of diseases it held, and I was unprotected. I politely explained to the father that next time there was any blood involved, I would need him to throw the items covered away in the lavatory trash bin. Apparently, this request somehow turned into a slur against the son and the cleanliness of his blood, and was my fault for giving him "my" faulty tray to begin with. Luckily, as flight attendants, my crew and I were highly trained in teamwork, so another flight attendant came in and calmed the man down by explaining that the sight of blood had taken me by surprise and that I had not meant to suggest anything about the cleanliness of anyone's blood. All of the other passengers around were shocked when they heard that he had handed me a bloody napkin. Remember, even doctors who deal with blood on a regular basis at least get to wear gloves! Again, I ask you, if your son had cut himself in a restaurant, would you hand the bloody napkin directly to your server? No. Flight attendants have lots of equipment on board, including an entire protective kit meant to be used while dealing with bodily fluids. So, please, next time you fly, don't hand your dirty diapers, bloody napkins, or anything that you would not want handed to you to your flight attendants. And don't be offended if they don't want to touch those objects. And don't blame the flight attendants if the company they work for gives out their free food in plastic trays with sharp edges. Flight attendants have certain powers, and that's probably why food isn't free anymore.

I could go on and on about the strange things that people do on airplanes, but those stories will have to wait for another time.