Every little girl's dream

Every little girl dreams about her wedding day. I started dreaming so young that I can't remember a time when I wasn't planning a wedding. Throughout the years, a lot has changed: the groom (now he's just a faceless man), the size of the dress (poofy 80s sleeves are so out right now), the bridesmaids (my best friends now are completely different than those at age 12, save for one), and the guest list (I now actually have people in mind, rather than the masses of adoring fans I thought would come to see me wed). But why is this day so important to us? These are the reasons why I shouldn't get married now: I'm not emotionally ready to commit my life to someone; I don't have any money to pay for a wedding; I like having lots of options in my life; and, oh yeah, I don't even have a boyfriend. I'm also at peace with the fact that I may never get married. Not everyone does, and that's okay. But I want my wedding. Last night I was thinking, maybe I should throw myself a wedding to marry myself, like that girl in that Lifetime movie. Then I'll be sure to fall in love with someone and marry them instead. I don't know if it's the fact that my wedding day would be all about me (the groom is always secondary in these situations), or if weddings are just more fun to plan than other things, or if we are all ingrained with the idea that we are supposed to get married, or maybe even jealousy that everyone else my age seems to be getting hitched, but my wedding is constantly on my mind. I am also currently planning my friend's wedding, and seeing as we will be each other's maids of honor, I think I have that right. I don't have a scrapbook or a wedding binder like some people really do, but it's all in my head, and on those websites that let you dress your weddings...
I have my Winter wedding all planned out, and it's beautiful. My Spring wedding is still a work in progress. I want to be prepared for either situation, just in case. Spring/Summer is more difficult because there seem to be more choices. Then there is the question of planning Anna's hypothetical wedding (my maid of honor). I know her so well, but weddings are a tricky thing. You don't want to anger the bride - it's HER day! So I am really struggling with which dress to pick out of two that are perfect for her, and which bridesmaids dresses out of every dress ever.
Flowers are hard to pick, because there are so many beautiful ones. If I have a wedding in the Spring, I want all kinds of bright, beautiful, Southern flowers around. I don't even care what kind. My problem is that my favorite flowers are pansies, and they are more difficult to put in a bouquet. But if I have a wedding in the Winter, they'll be there, mark my words.
The music for my wedding is an easy choice. I recently asked the manager of my favorite band (Sister Hazel) if they do weddings, and SCORE! They do. My future husband is going to surprise me by hiring Sister Hazel as our band for the reception. Isn't that sweet of him? And I know exactly how it will go: He'll get up to make an announcement about how much he loves me and how much he appreciates all of our guests and he'll say to me "It's all for you." Then Sister Hazel will come out and play their song, All For You. I will get teary eyed and jump up and down, screaming. Then, our first dance together will be This Kind of Love, which is such a beautiful love song.
The guest list for me, at this point, is easy. I want everyone that I care about to be there to celebrate me and my love. So many people have had a big impact on my life, and I want to show them how much I appreciate them by asking them to buy me presents, I mean come to my party. But don't think you can have yourself a wedding, not invite me, and then get an invite to my wedding. It doesn't work that way, honey.
So, I have rambled on about weddings that may never even come to be so that you can see how much girls/women actually think about their big day. I'm not sure we'll ever know just why girls start planning for something they may never have at such a young age, or even at all if they aren't about to get married. But I know that it will continue to happen, and that it is something important to us, even if those dreams never do come true. At least we'll have our memories of our fake weddings.