Saturday, April 16, 2011

Impossible Things

My friends know that I'm not the most serious person. I can be very serious, as you've seen in several of my posts, but I don't usually like to be so down to earth.  I try to keep my head in the clouds; it's much prettier and more exciting up there. It's also an escape from the things happening around me that I wish weren't going on. Yesterday I watched Disney's live-action movie Alice in Wonderland. Alice said something that struck a chord with me: "Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast." I feel the same way, and I feel validation in knowing that others do too. When Alice asks her father if she's going mad he replies, "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are." And I truly believe that. Sometimes it's hard to accept what is happening in real life, and that is why I choose to believe so many impossible things.

So, let me tell you some of the impossible things I believe, though there are many more than just six.

1. Some day I will marry a wealthy man so that I can be a stay-at-home mother, do volunteer work, cook, and have someone else to clean my huge house and make my bed everyday.
2. I will never be sick again. This includes all of my pre-existing conditions.
3. I will someday be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, with no consequences.
4. I will receive my acceptance letter from Hogwarts telling me that I am truly a witch.
5. One day I will open up my wardrobe and find myself transported to Narnia, where I will be named queen.
6. I will travel the world again, but this time, I will spend more than 24 hours in each city that I visit.
7. I will soon get a call from the Travel Channel asking me to host a show for them.
8. Foods that are bad for you will someday be good for you.
9. I will be able to live near three of my specialest friends so that we can fulfill our dream of being like the characters on How I Met Your Mother, but I will somehow still be in very close proximity of my family and my other dear friends.
10. I will never have to file taxes again. It's just a hassle.
11. I will have no more than three children, and I will not have to go through any type of fertilization therapy to have them.
12. I will never have to deal with the death of anyone I care for again.
13. Someday I will be able to travel through time to meet Abraham Lincoln, and we will be great friends.
14. I will be able to lose lots of weight by doing little exercise.
15. I will never lose touch with those who are important to me.
16. I will one day get a signature from every character in Disney World ever. But that's not impossible, as long as I can keep going back there on a semi-regular basis.
17. Tomorrow I will wake up to learn that I have a big beach house. More like a beach mansion.
18. Sister Hazel will play at my huge wedding  - also not impossible, depending on how much money I can scrape together, and if I ever get married (which is part of impossible thought #1).
19. I will have a vacation home at Disney World! That makes #16 much easier.
20. Someday bears and wild cats (like tigers) will make good pets, and they will love me.
21. All of my father's health problems will simply go away.
22. Animals will be able to talk.
23. What Not to Wear will come in and dress me and my mother.
24. I will have season tickets for the Texas Rangers every year, and they will continue to be one of the best teams in the Major Leagues. I might even marry a Texas Ranger...
25. Someday I will own a zoo and the animals will be my friends (because they can talk).
26. I will star in a Broadway musical with Julie Andrews.
27. I will own my own fleet of Boeing jumbo jets - at least one in each size, especially the 747 and the brand new 787. And the 777, because it's my favorite. Just imagine what you could do on one of those if you didn't have to seat over 200 people! It would be like a houseplane! Yes, I would make a house out of an airplane. Add that to my impossible list. I would probably also need a houseboat, though.
28. I will do everything I want while somehow having a positive effect on the environment.
29. Alcohol will be good for you and help you do things better. I know I am a much better bowler when I've been drinking, so why couldn't that apply to other things?
30. The parties thrown at my house will be legendary!  Especially at Christmas. There'll be bands and the best food ever and all the coolest people (you know who you are) and gift bags and mistletoe and reindeer! I can't wait.
31. I will be a famous author. Not only will my autobiography be a best seller, but I will also have a fantastical children's series that will someday become a classic.
32. When I grow up I will be President of the International Olympic Committee.
33. I will be a fashionista. People will want to wear what I wear. Sometimes that will include sweatshirts and pajama pants.
34. Burping will become acceptable in public.
35. I will wake up every morning with perfect hair and makeup.
36. I will someday live like a butterfly, traveling from city to city, but also manage to keep a schedule and routine and a normal home life.

These are just the impossible things I thought of today. Some of them are more impossible than others, but that doesn't make them any less realistic in my mind. I don't listen when people try to bring me back down to reality. I like where I am when I'm in my own Wonderland.

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